Fatherhood. Parenthood. When I really get the chance to think about being a parent, I can’t help but be overwhelmed and awed at what that actually means. Basically, God has seen me as “worthy” enough to be a dad. He has entrusted two of his angels to me, to love, care for, provide for, protect, and raise in such a way that they grow up to be adults who live lives of such grace that they will eventually go home to our Father in heaven. Whoa, talk about a responsibility!
More than a responsibility, parenthood is a gift. And like any real gift, it is given by the giver not because of merit, but out of love. And like any gift, it should be thankfully received by the recipient. My wife and I waited 10 long years for our first “gift”, and many times, we thought we would never be recipients. But now that we are (twice over to boot), we consider ourselves blessed beyond belief.
Parenthood is also a sacrifice. Despite the flowery prose on Hallmark Cards and the oh-so-happy-family-portraits-in-yet-to-be-sold-picture-frames, this gig is hard. We find ourselves giving and giving, and when we feel we have nothing more to give, we somehow give more. There are times that our kids drive us nuts. There are times when we just want to get away from them, and when this feeling hits, it makes us parents (especially first-timers) feel absolutely guilty. But we shouldn’t. Sometimes we need time for ourselves just to recharge. As for the kids making us crazy? Don’t worry about it. Afterall, these are humans, not robots that we program to our liking. And one of the most wonderful parts of this journey is watching our kids grow, seeing them develop into individuals with their own unique character and personality, even if parts of their personality drive us up the wall!
One of my favorite things is holding my daughters’ hands. I love it when they reach out just coz they want to hold Daddy’s hand, whether we’re watching TV, having a meal, or walking in the mall. The imagery is beautiful – their tiny hands totally engulfed in mine, totally safe, totally secure. Beyond the imagery, it’s what this simple act represents – their total trust in me, and my unconditional love for them.