When they’re young, our children see us (parents) as their entire world. Not only that, but in their eyes, we morph into what I can only describe as “superheroes” – as long as Daddy and Mommy are around, everything is a-ok. If our children grow up in comfort, as my children have, they never think about going without. When they’re hungry, there is always food on the table, in the refrigerator, or stacked in the pantry. If they outgrow their clothes, they can always go to the mall to buy a new shirt, a new pair of pants, or that pretty dress they saw last weekend. At the end of a long day, they never have to think about where they are going to sleep that night because their comfy beds, in their decked-out rooms, in their structurally-sound house are always waiting for them. An evening without electricity due to a “brownout” or without water due to “water district repairs” is the extent of the hardships that they have to contend with. And there is nothing that gives a father more joy and relief than knowing that his kids are safe and sound and well taken care of.
But what happens when that safe, secure, “perfect” world is shaken? What happens when things don’t go according to plan and you suddenly find yourself staring out into the abyss, wondering how you got there? What happens when you look at your beautiful children, those little ones who rely on you for everything and take for granted that you can give them everything, and you find yourself terrified about tomorrow? In short, what happens when you are in your own personal desert?
I have just recently gone through such an experience. I had to recently close down my latest venture. That in itself was painful, but like most entrepreneurs, closing down another business is usually par for the course. And for me, it was not the first time. But this time it was different. This time, this shutdown felt more than just the end of this particular business, but an end to what was a decade-long love-struggle with what I have always considered my passion. Not only was I closing the door on my latest venture, but I was effectively closing the door on an industry that, for reasons that are beyond any logical explanation, I still love, and closing the door on a career lifestyle that I had embraced and wanted to sustain until my working days were officially done. So I found myself unemployed, with debts from the business still to finance, a young family to take care of, and absolutely no clue what to do next. That desert sun was beating down hard and there was not even a mirage to give me some fleeting comfort.
At this point I did the only thing I could think of, the thing that my 43 years of Catholicism has trained me to do – I turned to the Lord and pleaded with Him. I didn’t ask Him for a miracle job as if he was Genie to my Aladdin. I simply asked Him to hold me in His embrace and to somehow let me know that He was still there and that everything was going to be ok. I basically turned to my Father and asked him to be “Daddy”. And you know what? He did exactly that and in more ways than one. He spoke to me directly through the scripture readings of that week. Bible verses that I have read over and over again over all these years suddenly came to life. Suddenly words spoken by the prophets, by the psalmists, and by Jesus Himself, were no longer “just words in a book”, but were direct affirmations by the Lord to me that He was indeed there and that everything was going to be ok. And then He worked through others, as he so often does.
My wife was as supportive as always assuring me that we would get through this as we always have. Every “I love you, Daddy” from my girls were like rays of sunshine warming my heart. And then looking at my situation from the outside, I realized how truly blessed I am and have been. My dad sent me to the best schools so I could get the very best education that I could get. And now my dad-in-law, through his numerous business ventures, has presented me with a myriad of opportunities to use my experience to add value to these enterprises. So now I embark on a new journey, excited for what this next step holds for me, but more importantly, relieved in knowing that my family will be ok. From my Father in heaven, to my own father, to my father-in-law, I have been truly blessed to have these father-figures in my life.
I take great pride in being “Daddy” to my two daughters, but before I was a dad, I was somebody’s son. And while I will forever be #prouddaddyof2, it gives me great comfort knowing that I am also, and will forever be, my Fathers’ son.