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One of the biggest negatives of this Covid-19 pandemic was the literal distance it put between families. For us, it meant going two years without seeing our family in Manila. Now two years might not seem like a long time for some, but for us, it felt like a lifetime.

In April, during the Holy Week, we finally got the chance to fly to Manila again to see the Pascua side of our family. It was a triple-celebration of sorts: first, it was Holy Week, the most important week in the year for Catholics like us, second, it was my parents’ Golden Anniversary, and third, it was a homecoming-2-years-in-the-making.

While we were only in Manila for about a week, it was a week filled with memories. Seeing my parents’ eyes light-up at seeing their two youngest grandchildren again was something I will never forget (and I suppose they were happy to see their son and daughter-in-law as well!). Seeing my daughters talking and just being with their cousins again filled my heart. And just being with my family again, in Manila, filled me with such joy.

Now, I pray that this erstwhile pandemic will continue its path towards become endemic, so the lockdowns, quarantines, and restrictions of the last 2 years become nothing but bad memories. Now, I look forward to our next trip back to Manila at the end of the year, when my parents’ eyes can again light up, my daughters can spend more quality time with their cousins, and we can create more memories in the city that will always have a place in our hearts as “home”.

*This is a really late post, coz I’ve been kinda busy!

Being a dad is one of the greatest gifts and responsibilities of my life, and I thank God everyday for it.

To my wife, thank you for all you went through to make me a dad.

To my daughters, thank you for allowing me to be “Daddy” to the two of you every single day.

So to my fellow fathers out there, a very Happy Father’s Day, from a proud daddy of 2.

It’s been about 6 months since my last post. Things have been pretty crazy since the start of 2021. While the beginning of this pandemic allowed (or forced) everyone to slow down, settle down, and stay home, as the health crisis dragged on and on, people had to adjust to the new normal. People had to get back to work however they could. Students had to get back to school, albeit online. And people began living their lives in this new world while governments and health experts worked overtime and in overdrive to roll out a vaccination program that everyone hoped would allow us to get back to our pre-pandemic lives.

One hidden blessing that has come out of this health crisis is the amount of time I have been able to spend with my girls. While I am fortunate that my work has always allowed me to be very present in their lives, being “quarantined” and “locked down” has given me even more time with them, more time than I otherwise would have had if these were normal times. And one thing that I have to constantly remind myself is that my babies are getting older. You know how you generally don’t see the changes in the people you are closest with just because you see them everyday? It’s like that with my daughters. I oftentimes forget how much they’ve grown and only realize it when I see old pictures of them and think to myself, “What?! That was only 3 years ago? How did they get so big?”

Time stops for no one, and even in the face of Covid-19, life continues. The company I am involved with now is preparing to formally launch is a few weeks’ time and so obviously I am preoccupied with those preparations. My girls just finished their school year, but before their summer break, we were busy with lesson and exam reviews, performance tasks, and online seminars. My wife and I are now enrolled in a “middle childhood parenting class” to try to prepare ourselves for new situations and challenges as our eldest nears this new stage of adolescence. Time keeps going. My daughters keep growing.

Covid Christmas. Quarantine Christmas. Or in the vernacular, “Pasko na, Pandemya Pa”.

Christmas 2020 will be a memorable one, and not for all the right reasons. It’s been 9 months since the world basically ground to a halt. Our pre-pandemic lives, merely 9 months ago, seem like a lifetime ago. Businesses, big and small, start-ups and erstwhile institutions, have shuttered their doors. Schools have been reduced to laptops and sometimes suspect internet connections. Hospitals have been overrun by Covid-19. People have lost businesses and jobs. Students and their parents have been forced to turn parts of their houses into makeshift classrooms. Frontliners have been driven to their breaking point and beyond, sometimes with devastating results. And the mantra has been the same: “Wear your masks. Social distance. And most of all, STAY HOME!” How would all of this affect what is universally accepted as the most wonderful time of the year?

Here in the Philippines, a developing country, we have not been spared. Before March 2020, our economy was the envy of many. Our GDP growth was one of the highest in Asia, if not the world. Our credit rating with the world’s leading financial institutions kept going from strength to strength. Our youthful population was seen as an advantage by countries such as Japan whose population replacement rate was below one. And our President was embarking on an ambitious (audacious?) infrastructure plan that would vault the country’s stature even higher among its neighbors. But then the pandemic hit, and all talk of Build-Build-Build literally stopped in its tracks. And from an exalted position in Asia, we have fallen, and fallen hard, as data shows that we are one of the worst performing nations when it comes to addressing this pandemic and its effects on our economy. So how would Covid-19 affect Christmas in our Christian nation?

The Philippines is known for having the longest Christmas season in the world, starting once the calendar hits the “-ber” months and lasting all the way to January of the following year. Not only do we have one of the longest Christmases in the world, we also have one of the most festive, not surprising considering that 80% (or more) of the country counts itself as Christian, plus the Filipinos’ love of family, food, music, and general merry-making. But like everything else this year, the health crisis has put its stamp on the season. While the spirit of Christmas is still evident (it’ll take more than a global pandemic to kill Christmas here in the Philippines), this year’s celebrations have a decidedly more somber tone, as it should be. Malls still decked their halls with Christmas decor, even if the usual stream of Christmas shoppers was reduced to a mere trickle. The usual Christmas parties in offices and schools, and among friends and family, were transferred online to Zoom rooms. And families still adorned their homes with holiday lights even if family reunions would be kept to a minimum. The secular holiday season certainly took a hit.

But for Christians like my family, Christmas has never been about the gifts, the decor, the parties, and the carols. Yes, we enjoy all these, and they all play a part in making this the happiest time of year, but Christmas has always been about so much more. Beyond the lights and music, Christmas has always been about the birth of our Lord, the Baby Jesus, and what His birth means to us as the human race and as individuals. And when seen in this light, the light of the Star of Bethlehem, the light of the birth of our Savior, Covid-19 simply could not win. Yes, we have been told to stay away from Churches, and the traditional Misa de Gallo/Simbang Gabi and the Christmas Eve/Day Masses have also gone online. But for many, this has been a call to revisit these traditions. The regular pressure to buy gifts for everyone in our social circle has been replaced with more heartfelt calls and online get-togethers – wrapping paper and ribbons not required. And the usual Christmas rush of holiday shopping and parties has been superseded with quality time spent with our immediate families and with the Lord in prayer.

My family has felt all these. Of course, we do miss the normal Christmas and our usual trip to Manila to spend some of the holidays with our family there, but we are also enjoying this toned down version of the season. We do hope that Christmas 2021 will have more “normalcy” to it as we watch the first doses of the much-awaited vaccine being administered in the US. But for this year, we will find the silver lining, the Christmas light, amidst the general doom and gloom of this year. And we will take to heart what we have learned in our Sunday school and catechism classes – that God creates beauty out of even the ugliest circumstances.

I do know that I am in a place of extreme privilege, and a major reason I can write this and be so hopeful is because I am in such a place. My family is together and healthy. We will still enjoy our Noche Buena tonight with no sacrifice in the quality of the spread. And come the New Year, I will have a job to return to and things for me and my family will likely go along just fine. It is with this mindset, and an acknowledgment of how blessed we are, that I, along with Vanette, Lareese, and Lana, would like to wish you all the best possible Christmas. May the light of the birth of our Lord illumine your darkness, and with it, may it bring a renewed sense of joy, peace, and hope for the coming year.

So here we are, at the beginning of a new school year, and at the beginning of an entirely new world of schooling that nobody expected to be in. The Covid-19 pandemic that has forced people into quarantine and isolation, shuttered businesses, halted travel as we know it, sent economies tumbling, and brought healthcare systems around the world to their knees has wrapped its ugly tentacles around the education sector as well. Schools scrambled to put together or obtain IT systems and platforms to conduct classes in virtual classrooms, students braced themselves for a new method of learning that they were suddenly forced into, parents tried to wrap their heads around what this “stay-at-home learning” would mean for their family routines and schedules, and governments struggled to craft policies to deal with all the issues that they were suddenly bombarded with from all the different stakeholders. This “new normal” was something nobody wanted, but is something we all suddenly have to deal with.

My own daughters just began their school year this week. Thankfully, their school designated this first week as a sort of “trial week” where we – faculty, parents, and students – could explore and ease our way into this new world of eLearning. The challenges were bound to be numerous: How effectively would teachers interact with kids through a computer screen? How efficiently would these teachers be able to manage their virtual classrooms? How easy would it be for students to focus and stay attuned to the lessons when they were sitting in their homes (typically places of rest and play) instead of in their classrooms? How seamless would the distribution and submission of assignments be? And for parents, especially those like me with young kids, how involved would we have to be? Although the school has made it a point to stress that “parents are not to be the teachers”, how realistic is it to expect kids from Kinder to say Grade 3 or 4 to fend for themselves, so to speak, without an adult around? During normal times, their teachers would be physically present to help them, but given the current circumstances, that is obviously not the case. My wife and I are fortunate that our work allows us to be around for them, but even now, we are already juggling our work schedules to meet our children’s needs. I really feel for parents who simply do not have this “luxury”. And on top of all these, our country’s internet is notorious for being inconsistent during the best of times, and now with literally everyone going online, well, you get the picture.

We just completed Day 3 of this “trial week” and I’m happy and relieved to say that already things are beginning to look up. Of course there were technical difficulties that had to be sorted out, processes and systems to be worked through, and the ever present schedule-juggling will always be there. But the teachers are obviously doing their best to keep their upbeat and positive attitudes so their students are engaged, so far our internet is cooperating, and most importantly, our daughters seem to be enjoying their classes. It’s early days, and I can only hope and pray that as the school year goes on, everybody finds their rhythm and things continue to get better and better.

This “new normal” is definitely not the “ideal normal” and we all look forward to the day that our kids go back to their classrooms, have face-to-face interactions with their teachers, socialize with their classmates and friends (and not through Zoom or some other video-conferencing platform), and get to enjoy the full school experience, warts and all. But until then, we will struggle through this together, navigate through this together, and celebrate the victories together. We will do this for the sake of our children. Because at the end of the day, it is about them, and it is for them.

As a dad, I gotta admit that I love Father’s Day. Afterall, who doesn’t enjoy getting acknowledgments, praise, and shout-outs for doing something that they would do anyway? The extra attention is just an added bonus, like getting a free (and awesome) dessert at the end of an already outstanding meal.

I think the role of “Dad” has evolved more than that of “Mom” when it comes to parenting. A generation ago, dads were expected to be the breadwinners, the providers, and the protectors of the home, while most of the “parenting duties” were left to mom. You saw this portrayed everywhere, with dads coming through the front door with a “Honey, I’m home” and the wife and kids running dutifully to greet him at the front door. Next scene, dad’s in his chair watching TV or reading his newspaper, while mom scurries in with a “children, let your father rest”. Thankfully those days are gone, and dads are now expected to do their equal part in parenting, and rightfully so. Moms have always carried the responsibility of raising the kids, but now they can expect their husbands to pull their parenting weight too.

Dads play such a critical part in their kids’ lives. They are their sons first heroes and boys learn to become men by watching their dads. They are their daughters first loves and girls learn how they should be treated by men by how they are treated by their dads. One of the biggest blessings I have ever received is being born to a father who took his role as dad seriously. Yes, he played the “traditional role” of a father (breadwinner, protector) to a tee, but he also knew, even then, that being a dad was so much more that that, and he joyfully took on all those responsibilities as well. If people “praise” me for the kind of dad I am to my two daughters, it’s because I had a great role model to emulate. Thanks Dad!

So to all the dads out there who are ever present and active in their children’s lives, a toast to you. To the veteran fathers, I’m sure you have your own stories to tell. To the new fathers, you’re probably still a mess of emotions – happy, fearful, proud, anxious – but don’t worry, you’ll be ok. To those still waiting and praying for their own fatherhoods to begin, keep the faith – I had to wait 10 years, but it was worth it.

This may be a day late, but nevertheless, Happy Father’s Day!

One of the hardest, and scariest things, about parenting is trying to figure out if what you’re doing is right, or if it’s the best thing for your child. Afterall, when that baby comes out, nobody hands you an instruction booklet or a “how-to” manual. In addition, you’re dealing with another person, another individual with his/her own personality, intellect, attitude, etc. You are not programming a robot, so what may work on one child may not necessarily work on another child. How parents, as imperfect as we ourselves are, are able to raise smart, responsible, loving, well-adjusted, children is almost as much of a miracle as child birth itself!

We are now smack in the middle of this Covid-19 pandemic that has wreaked havoc on a global scale. For us non-frontliners, the most useful thing we can do, as we’ve been told over and over again, is stay home. Now, that may not sound like the most productive way to spend our lives, but many have found ways to be productive, taking on new challenges, learning new skills, or starting projects that have long been shelved because of our previously “too busy” lives. For my wife and I, we’ve dedicated a lot of this time to our kids, trying to make sure they remain productive and making sure they are not stuck behind gadgets the whole day. We have also recently signed up to an online parenting course, because if there’s one thing always worth working on, it’s developing and trying to improve our parenting skills. We understand that no matter how “good” we may feel we are as parents, we know there is always room to get better.

We just finished Module 1, and one line really struck me – “parenting is the only relationship where the end goal is separation“. Intuitively, all parents know that eventually our kids will leave the nest to live their own lives, but to me, I always saw that as more of a NATURAL OCCURRENCE that was just bound to happen rather than a GOAL. And I guess that’s why it struck me. It was a paradigm shift. Yes, the end result is the same (our kids leaving) but what changed was the journey towards that end, from something that would “just happen” to something that I was supposed to “make happen”. Parenting is the only relationship where the end goal is separation.

One song that I’ve always loved because of its message is “Butterfly Kisses” by Bob Carlisle. For those who don’t know the song, it’s basically a song that a father sings about his daughter and how the relationship changes as she gets older, from a baby, to a toddler, to a teenager, to an adult. And the part of the song that always tugs particularly hard at my heart goes:

“She’ll change her name today
She’ll make a promise
And I’ll give her away
Standing in the bride room
Just staring at her
She asked me what I’m thinking
And I said “I’m not sure
I just feel like I’m losing my baby girl'”…. “

For any father, I’m sure they know what I mean! While we enjoy seeing them grow and watch in amazement as they become their own person, a part of us wishes we could cradle them in our arms forever. I am no different. I treasure every hug and cuddle I get from them now because I know that one day, those long, tight hugs will become quick squeezes before they run off. And that’s how it is supposed to be. Because they are supposed to run off. And I am supposed to help them run off. Parenting is the only relationship where the end goal is separation.

So I look forward to this parenting course because if I cannot stop my daughters from eventually leaving, I want to make sure I equip them the best I can to stand on their own so they can go through life happily and successfully. If the end goal is to have them leave, then let’s run towards that goal purposefully. Parenting is the only relationship where the end goal is separation.

As always, my alarm went off at 610am.  As always, I reached over and grabbed my iphone to do the day’s first FB check.  The first post I see on my feed: Laker legend Kobe Bryant, dead at the age of 41.  At first my mind didn’t comprehend what I had just read.  I saw the words but they didn’t register.  As my mind became clearer I thought it was one of those terrible celebrity-death hoaxes.  Then I scanned down to find the source of the story.  Oh no, it was a legitimate news outlet.  I frantically searched other credible news pages.  ESPN, LA Times, New York Times, Bleacher Report…”Laker legend Kobe Bryant, dead at the age of 41.”

I was devastated.  I felt like I had been sucker punched.  And then I read on: “Gianna Bryant also died in the crash”.  The air was sucked out of the room.  Yes, I was saddened when I heard about the passing of other celebrities such as Michael Jackson, Anthony Bourdain, Robin Williams, but this was different.  This felt different. 

Why did I feel this way?  I obviously didn’t know Kobe Bryant on any sort of personal level.  I never met him.  I never watched him play.  I never even had the chance to see him in person during one of his many trips to the Philippines.  Yes, I’m a lifelong Laker fan and I was always a big Kobe fan so of course news of his passing would make me sad, but the gut-wrenching feeling I had didn’t make sense.  It seemed too extreme.  I didn’t know Kobe.

As Kobe posts, tributes, stories, and reflections poured in and dominated my feed, one shared post caught my attention, and it started with:

“Can you imagine how difficult it was for him in that moment?  The moment he knew that not only his own life was about to end, but that of his daughter…a life he helped to create.”

And that was it.  That was what was eating at me.  I wasn’t mourning the passing of Kobe Bryant the Laker legend, the basketball icon, the Oscar-winner, the successful entrepreneur-philanthropist.  I was sad that that Kobe Bryant was gone, but what I was truly mourning was the death of Kobe Bryant the loving father to Natalia, Gianna, Bianka, and Capri.  Those other personas were personas I respected and admired from afar, but personas I had nothing in common with and could not relate to.  But Kobe Bryant the father – now that was someone I could relate to on the most intimate of levels.  The dad of four beautiful daughters was gone.  That hit me hard.

The devastating image that still comes to my mind, no matter how much I try to push it away, is the image of those last few moments as their helicopter dropped from the sky.  I can imagine a terrified Gigi clinging to Kobe, tears streaming down her face.  I can imagine a grief-stricken Kobe, enveloping his daughter in his arms, using everything he had to tell her, “Don’t worry Gigi, Daddy’s here.  Daddy’s got you.  I love you.” That image still haunts me.

I have always been affectionate with my daughters.  Every chance I get, I sweep them up into my arms for a big hug, while planting kisses all over them, only stopping because they say “OK Daddy, enough!”  But now, I find myself hugging them just a little tighter and just a little longer. “Don’t worry, Daddy’s here.  Daddy’s got you.  I love you.”

Kobe and Gigi.  Mamba and Mambacita.  Father and Daughter.  Together in life.  Together in death.  Together for eternity.

Rest in peace Kobe.  Rest in peace Gigi.  Soar high and enjoy your two-on-twos with the saints and angels above!

January 3, 2020. The third day of the new year and I finally have a chance to sit down and catch my breath after the usual craziness of the Christmas season. And that means I have the time to reflect on the year that was and look at what it means for the year to come.

Growing up, I never did like New Year’s because it meant the Christmas season was over. And growing up, I always loved Christmas. Even now, it’s my favorite time of year, so the New Year still acts as a little bit of a downer, after all the festivities of the Christmas season and whatnot. But in my older age, I’ve taken on a new perspective of the New Year. Instead of seeing it as “the end of Christmas” I now look at it as a new beginning, a chance to correct the mistakes of the past year, and a chance to look forward to a myriad of opportunities in the coming year.

2019 was certainly an eventful year for me. It was filled with unbelievable highs (such as the BEST vacation I have ever been on, something I wrote about in an earlier post), heart-wrenching lows (such as closing another business), and major adjustments (completely new career direction, daughters going to new schools). I never imagined so much could be packed into 12 months – even now, reflecting on everything, I’m getting tired! So what has 2019 taught me? What can I take from 2019, the good, the bad, and the ugly, that may serve me well in 2020? What lessons can I garner from all these events that can be passed on to my daughters?

PERSEVERANCE: Life isn’t easy. It’s not supposed to be. I remember a scene from the movie Parenthood when the grandmother was talking about life and how it could either be a merry-go-round or a roller-coaster. As a merry-go-round, it would be steady, even-keeled, safe, but kinda boring. On the other hand, as a roller-coaster, it would be filled with ups and downs, chock full of loops and curves that catch you off-guard, and could leave you breathless. Her take? The roller-coaster is a much better ride. My life since graduating Grad School has definitely been a roller-coaster. And one thing that I’ve learned through it all is that one of the greatest strengths an individual can have is that of perseverance, because no matter how smart, talented, popular, or rich you may be, life is not always going to go your way. And those who can successfully navigate through the downtimes while taking time to revel in the good times are those who will be able to look back at their life and say with a smile, “It wasn’t easy, but I made it. Somehow, I made it. And what a ride it was!”

HUMILITY: No man is an island. Man is a social being. Two popular sayings in sociology, philosophy, and a host of other fields of study. What they basically mean is that we are all here to support each other and that life is not meant to be lived out on our own. And sometimes this means humbling ourselves and reaching out for help, or accepting help when offered. Sometimes we will be in the enviable position of being able to help someone out and during these times, we should do so joyfully. Other times, we will find ourselves down and in need of help. Some people have the false notion that asking for help is a sign of desperation or weakness. The way I see it, being able to ask for help is a sign of wisdom (being self aware enough to acknowledge that we lack the skill and/or resources to accomplish something) and of inner strength (because one of the hardest things is accepting that we need help and then asking for it).

GRATEFULNESS: Despite that challenges I have faced, I still recognize how unbelievably blessed I am and that so many other people would trade places with me in an instant if they could – warts and all. And while I am coming from a position of privilege, which makes this easy to say, I still believe that everyone, despite their circumstances, should strive to find something to be grateful for. An attitude of genuine gratefulness works wonders as it comforts during ” times of famine” and makes “times of feast” even more delectable.

I am sure that there are many more lessons that I learned through my experiences in 2019, but these three are the ones that immediately came to mind, so that may mean something. And these are three lessons that I want to pass on to my daughters as they get older and begin to face different situations and circumstances.

So to everyone who stopped by to read this, I wish you all a blessed and prosperous 2020! And I pray that you PERSEVERE through the tough times, that you remain HUMBLE in all things, and that you have an attitude of GRATEFULNESS throughout this new year.

One of the worst things about growing up is the loss of wonder, which is replaced by cynicism and a jaded outlook on life. We lose the ability to see the miracle in everyday things as we go about our busy lives, doing our “important things”, refusing to be fascinated by anything we deem too “ordinary” or “everyday”.

Last weekend we took our daughters to the beach. While my wife and I enjoy these trips outside of the city, our enjoyment stems primarily from the relaxation we get during these little excursions. For our daughters though, these trips can be magical. Every coral I pulled out of the ocean was met with wide-eyed glee (“that one looks like a castle, Daddy!”), every rock I placed on their makeshift doll-house was met with oohs-and-aahs (“that’s a big one Daddy!”), and every shell was treated like a treasure (“just like Ariel’s, Daddy!). Seeing their joyful reactions to things that I generally tried to avoid coz they hurt when stepped on just reminded me again how children can teach us so much about recognizing the miracle that our world actually is.

So as I go back to my regular schedule, and once again overlook and take for granted all the beauty that is around me, I will look forward to our next excursion when my daughters can open my eyes again to the wonder of God’s creation.

Oh, and how about when low-tide set in? Well, of course that’s when the giant in the ocean got thirsty and decided to take a humongous sip out of it, and that’s why the ocean wasn’t as deep anymore!